Noah in 2007

It is the year 2007, and Noah lives in the United States. The Lord speaks to Noah and says, "In one year I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth.  Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark."

In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark. 

"Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year."  

Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard weeping. "Noah," He shouted, "Where is the Ark?"  

"Lord, please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best but there were big problems. First I had to get a permit for construction, and Your plans did not comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm to redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and floatation devices. Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the US Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won¹t let me catch any owls. So, no owls. The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls. When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard. Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn¹t take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the Universe. Then the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed new flood plans. I sent them a globe. Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard! The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I¹m building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the State that I owe some kind of "user tax" and failed to register the Ark as a "recreational water craft."  Finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event and therefore unconstitutional. I really don¹t think I can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years!" Noah wailed.

The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine, and the seas began to calm.  A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you are not going to destroy the earth, Lord?"

"No," said the Lord sadly, "The government already has." 

Banana's

FEEL LIKE GOING BANANAS?  NOW IS THE TIME...

This is interesting. After Reading THIS, you'll NEVER look at a banana in the same way again. Bananas have  three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. 

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.  

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.  

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood. Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia. 

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke   

Brain Power:  200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert. 

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.  

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system. 

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief. Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.  

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.  

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady  

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.  

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.  

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.  

Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6 and B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.  

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.  

Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of >Medicine", eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of >death by strokes by as much as 40%!   

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!   

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

Attitude is Everything!

 

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked  in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

 "Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today?"  So she did.  And she had a wonderful day.

 The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

 "H-M-M," she said,  "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day.

 The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

 "Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

 The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head!

"YEA!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!" 

Attitude is everything!

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

"Walking Eagle"

 

Senator Hillary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of The American Indian nation two weeks ago in upper New York State She spoke for almost an hour on her future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living, should she one day become the first female President.

She referred to her career as a New York Senator, how she had signed "yes" for every Indian issue that came to her desk for approval.  Although the Senator was vague on the details of her plan, she seemed most enthusiastic about her future ideas for helping her "red sisters and brothers".

At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented the Senator with a plaque inscribed with her new Indian name - Walking Eagle.

The proud Senator then departed in her motorcade, waving to the crowds. A news reporter later inquired of the group of chiefs of how they had come to select the new name given to the Senator.

They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly

My Native American Name........

 

I'm honored to talk to you about my Mohawk name. Typically, in years past, Mohawk children were not named at birth, or by their parents. That duty fell upon the Clan Mother. Usually the child's name had a relationship or bearing to something the Clan Mother had seen or felt about the child, while in it's presence. A "Naming Ceremony" is a very special day for a Mohawk child. And it usually takes place between the ages of 2 to 6. Today, it has the aire of baptism in a christian family. But in the past it had more of a Mother Nature/Mother Earth connection.

 

I was raised by my grandparents and since we were not living on a Reserve or Reservation, we were not in close contact with a Clan Mother. Thus, the duty of giving  me my name, fell upon my grandfather, who was the next in line, under such conditions.  I was named Broken Feather at the age of 4 1/2. The thought behind my name is as follows.  During my birth it was discovered that the delivery would be an upside down breech birth.  Dwelling upon my life, my grandfather observed that I was always very tiny (light as a feather) and I was (always getting hurt/broken). As a result of his observations, he felt that the Creator would be pleased if he named me Broken Feather.  I was actually named Edward Clarence Smith, JR. at birth, and had my name changed to Edward Clarence Tremblay at the age of 1, by my Grandparents.  Chandler was the name I got at the age of 12 from legal adoption!

I ask the Creator to bring peace and health into your lives! I pray he has listened to my talks with him and has acted upon my requests!

 

Warmest Regards,

 

Edward Broken Feather

AOL'S HOMESTEADING BOARD

I need to take the time to acknowledge my long time presence on AOL's Homesteading Board. I actually use to be a part of the survivalism board, but AOL eliminated that board and blended it into the homesteading board! I have tremendously enjoyed sharing my lifestyle and commitment to the rural lifestyle, that includes, foraging for wild edibles, raising animals and my native american heritage! I have so many internet aquaintences, "Minnie", "LisaAlso, no longer in Singapore", "Karen Lane", "Bev", "Biherbs", and Tetravera. If I didn't mention your name, please don't feel slighted, I've simply forgotten. I concider myself to be the luckest man alive, to have been able to have done everything I've ever wanted to do in life! My one failure in life was my marriage! But, it generated my precious daughter Renee!  My many interests in life, and my ongoing business interests consume huge amounts of my time, but I'll always find time to return to the Homesteading Board. That lifestyle will always be my roots! I truly have a love affair with mother nature, which I guess derives from my native american heritage!

Wild Turkey Feathers

A genuinely wonderful woman by the name of Elizabeth, from Natick/Wellesley, MA has befriended me and gone out of her way to gather wild turkey feathers and sent them to me! These feathers are a genuine act of love and devotion from this woman to my family, that has a deep regard for her and her kindness! Since I'm not a card carrying recognized native american, but rather a Mohawk Metís, I'm not legally allowed to own eagle feathers. So in my Metís world, turkey feathers have a huge value and significance! It allows me to teach my grandson to honor the presents that Mother Nature persents us with. Since these feathers will be utilized in the making of Native American Regalia, it also teaches my grandson that as a Native American, we utilize everything that Mother Nature provides us! Elizabeth, if you read this post, thank you for your wonderful kindness! I, my family and my grandchildren thank you for your unbelieveable thoughtfulness! You are truly a genuine Angel!

 

Edward Broken Feather